I have seen Geneva, I have seen Budapest. I will now rank them.

1. Budapest

2. Placeholder to further separate Budapest from Geneva

3. Geneva

Geneva sucks. It is the international city, housing the UN, UNICEF, the WTO, and the WIPO, granted. It has many fine museums, all of which offer free admissions, granted. The people there are polite and the watches attractive, granted. But there is simply no excuse for charging $14 for a fast food lunch and refusing to serve liquor after 9.

There were highlights: while I was allowed nowhere near the UN or UNICEF building, which is, strangely, the only one guarded with assault rifles, I was able to convince security guards to let me see the WTO and WIPO. I am ashamed to say that I rewarded their trust by stealing from a stack of policy papers outside the conference room, knowing full well they were for the delegates. I regret only not being bold enough to order something from the delegate bar.

I musn't forget the botanical gardens; Geneva is the only place in world where landscaping has brought me to tears. And I saw the Swissest watchmaker in existence: in a closet-size shop off the main drag he sits surrounded by ticking and clicking clocks, watches, and gears, quietly assembling a pocket watch with tweezers and pricing me out of his shop.

So, Geneva is someplace you can go to be inspired, to open your mind, and to marvel at what a unified Europe can look like, even if they are the hole in the European Union. Stubborn Swiss. Geneva is not, however, someplace you go to have fun. The second night, I went out with an Aussie and a Kiwi and our attempts to enjoy ourselves put us at odds with the fundamental nature of the city; we fought Geneva and Geneva won.

Budapest is another beast entirely, and one which I believe warrants an entry all its own. So I will close this, invite you to comment and encourage you to declare yourself an onlooker to my blog because it would feed my self-esteem.